Humor · Low Carbs

Have you ever been in a fight with a vending machine?

CARBS ARE THE ENEMY, BUT WHY DO I LOVE THEM SO MUCH?

 

Once upon a time, the fair young maiden fell asleep before 11pm for the first time in quite a while. It was a glorious sleep and she couldn’t even remember if she had to get up to use the ladies room once. She woke up and curled her hair and had to only rush a tiny bit. She didn’t eat beforehand, because she had an avocado and that should have been sufficient. As she walked down the stairs, her underwire snapped and began to poke her and aggravate her. She became a tad ragey and continued to descend down the stairs to the car.

She suddenly realized she was ravenous, not just hungry. The chocolate she had indulged in the night previous had kicked her sugar cravings into full gear. Coconut crumb donuts  were just the perfect solution. She happened to have the exact amount in her purse for such a purchase. So she told everyone “I am having donuts for breakfast, and none of you can stop me.” Only to realize no one was really even standing near her. She marched to the elevators and promptly went downstairs to the vending machine. She greedily put her money in and put in the corresponding number and watched with great anticipation as the windy thing in the vending machine rotated…and the package got stuck. The maiden tried to use her brute strength to knock the vending machine a little to shake it loose. But alas, her weak efforts were to no avail.

She supposed she should take it as a sign that this is not meant to be and gave up; but as she took the elevator her tummy growled viciously and she became irritable. When she got back upstairs and got ready to login, it was discovered that her computer was not working. So she furiously dug through her purse and discovered she still had another $1.25. While IT was getting her computer fixed she raced downstairs and tried to get the treasured donuts again. To her amazement and delight, two doughnut packages fell to the bottom of the machine. She took the treasure up to her desk and stored them for safe keeping for about two seconds….then she tore into them and promptly ate them; feeling only minor guilt at continuing to break her no carb resolution.  The sugar only mildly soothed her hunger and the irritation of the underwire poking through and stabbing her. It was so unsatisfying, that she had to medicate her soul with a miniature calzone, some cheese bread, and some chocolate.

The end

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s